Abstaining
by Another Writer Who Loves
Summary: "Why am I Lucifer's vessel?" Castiel couldn't help but ask. "Because even Satan wants a piece of that fine ass of yours." Dean answered without taking his eyes off the television. Part 3 of Reverse Verse.


"Why am I Lucifer's vessel?" Castiel couldn't help but ask.

"Because even Satan wants a piece of that fine ass of yours." Dean answered without taking his eyes off the television.

Castiel bit down the growl that was threatening to escape his throat.

Countless angels in heaven and the one that had to get an interest and put themselves in their lives was the one angel that in all honesty he couldn't stand.

Dean, Mr. Strange-Enough-My-Nickname-And-This-Guys-Name-Is-Close-Enough-To-The-Same-So-Call-Me-That, was the complete opposite of what his father had always told him angels were. According to Chuck Novak angels were patient and kind. They were loving to humans and wished to protect them from demons.

Dean was fascinated by humans no doubt. He often laughed at them however never with malice. He adored humans and their curiosity and will. He found them interesting and even at times the simplest human act made him smile.

However after all that Castiel found that the pie loving, rock music loving angel with no sense of personal space who could give an innocent look that would not be misplaced on a child who knew they had done something wrong and knew they could get away with it.

Out of all the angels in heaven Castiel had to get stuck with this one.

"Well Satan might not be the right word for it." Dean corrected himself. "Satan is the name you guys came up with. He's just Lucifer."

"Good to know." Castiel deadpanned. "Now tell me, why am I Lucifer's vessel?"

Dean sighed and turned to face the hunter. "Mainly it's because you're the brother of Adams vessel."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Castiel asked.

"Everything." Dean said simply. "Now there's something I want to know. How are you feeling?"

"Fine." Castiel lied.

Dean stared at him for a moment before he snorted. "Liar."

"I'm not."

"Mm hmm." Dean said. "You seem to forget that I can read minds."

Castiel sighed as he let his coat slid down and onto the chair. "I told you, I'm fine. Let's just leave it at that."

"You're going through withdrawal." Dean said softly. "I know you Cas."

Withdrawal. The emptiness in his stomach, his shaking hands. The dryness in his throat.

"I'm fine." Castiel repeated. "I just need to get some sleep."

Dean was silent for a moment before he quietly said "I can't take away the side effects, part of dealing with demon blood. But I could at least knock you out or something."

Castiel felt the sides of his mouth lift slightly. "Thank you but that's not necessary."

Dean fell silent as he watched Castiel get ready for bed.

"You need some help getting to sleep?" Dean asked.

Castiel shook his head as he crawled under the covers and collapsed on the bed.

Castiel tried to calm his racing heart and breathed in deeply. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears.

He felt fingers stroking through his hair suddenly. He turned his head to see Dean had sat next to him and was petting him.

"Sleep." Dean said. "I got you."

Almost against his will Castiel felt his eyes droop, he could have sworn Dean was cheating and using his powers, before Castiel was asleep.

It seemed only a few minutes had passed before he opened his eyes again and froze.

He was dreaming, that was the only explanation. That he was dreaming.

Amelia was lying next to him watching him.

"Hey sweetie." she said softly.

Castiel stared at her his mouth working wordlessly before he was able to finally breathe out "Amelia."

Amelia smiled at him. "I missed you."

"I'm dreaming." Castiel said quietly his eyes absorbing every detail he could.

"Or you're not." Amelia said still smiling. "What's the difference? I'm here."

Castiel reached out and cupped her face, her skin was warm against his palm and he relished the feel of her.

"I miss you so much."

"I know." she said as she placed her hand over his. "I miss you too."

Her smile slowly faded. "What are you doing, Cas?"

"What do you mean?" Castiel asked confused.

"Running away." Amelia said. "Haven't we been down this road before?"

"No, it's different now." Castiel said.

"Really?" she asked.

Castiel closed his eyes and leaned forward until his forehead was pressed against her shoulder. Her hand came to his head and stroked through his hair.

"Last time, I wanted to be normal." he said. He couldn't help the smile as she petted him slowly. "This time. I'm a freak. Even my brother doesn't want to have anything to do with me."

"Which is all a big ball of semantics." Amelia said softly. "You know that."

"No." Castiel said pulling away from her.

"Even at Stanford you knew. You knew there was something dark inside of you." Amelia continued as she pulled back her hand to her side once more. "Deep down, maybe, but you knew. Maybe that's what got me killed."

"No." Castiel said startled.

Amelia watched him carefully for a moment before she said "I was dead from the moment we said hello."

"No." he repeated more firmly.

"Don't you get it?" Amelia asked before she continued without waiting for an answer. "You can't run from yourself. Why are you running now?"

"Why are you here, Amy?" Castiel finally asked.

Amelia gave him a sad smile. "Would you believe I'm actually trying to protect you?"

"From what?"

"You." she replied simply. "Sooner or later the past is going to catch up to you like it always does. You know what happens then?"

Castiel looked away as he felt tears prickle at the corners of his eyes.

"People die. Sweetie, the people closest to you die." she continued.

Castiel looked up at her and locked gazes with her. "Don't worry because I won't make that mistake again."

"Same song, different verse." Amelia said. "Things are never going to change with you. Ever."

Castiel bowed his head and closed his eyes. He gave his head a shake and looked back up.

Amelia was gone.

Castiel shook as he opened his eyes and sat up in the bed, barely registering Dean's hand on his arm.

"You alright?" Dean asked as he slid his arm around Castiels waist and helped him sit up.

Castiel nodded as he took deep breaths in.

Dean reached out and slid one finger along Castiels face. When he brought it back it was wet.

"You were crying in your sleep." Dean said. "I was trying to wake you up for a while, man."

"Sorry." Castiel said bringing the covers up to help wipe his face. "I was just having a dream."

"Bad or good?" Dean asked as he stepped back and off the bed.

"Both. Neither. It doesn't matter." Castiel said as he allowed himself to fall back onto the bed.

Dean watched him carefully for a moment before he said, "Your brother called. Wants to meet with you."

Castiel immediately sat back up and looked at the angel.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" he demanded. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I tried." Dean said. "You wouldn't wake up so I took a message."

"He wants to see me?" Castiel asked as he threw the covers off and started to get redressed. He grimaced slightly when he noted the time on the clock, he only got a few hours of sleep. "Did he say why?"

Dean hesitated before he shook his head. "He sounded pretty shaken up, something scared him good."

Castiel glanced at him. "What happened?" he grew angry then. "I thought you said that demon was protecting him."

"Nothing happened to him." Dean said holding his hands up with his palms facing Castiel. "He said that Sam had to leave for a few hours and the angels managed to find him and pounced."

Castiel threw his belongings back into his bag and did a quick sweep of the room to see if he had missed anything.

"What did the angels do?" he demanded.

"Apparently they sent him to a possible future." Dean said. "He's not hurt, Sam grabbed him the moment he was brought back and killed the angel. Well one escaped but otherwise at the moment they are safe and Sam isn't letting Gabe go anywhere out of his vision."

Castiel gritted his teeth together as he left the room with Dean trailing behind him. "Did they tell you where they are?"

"Yep." Dean said. Before Castiel would do or say anything Dean reached out and pressed two fingers to his head and with a heavy jerk of his stomach the two of them were outside a different motel.

Castiel swallowed the bile rising in his throat. "Please warn me when you're going to do that."

Dean nodded as he walked up to the door and knocked. It almost immediately opened up to reveal Sam who stepped to the side to allow the two of them to enter.

Gabriel turned to the door and froze when he saw his brother.

"Cas." he said running his eyes over his younger brother.

"Gabriel." Castiel said as he stepped closer to the elder. He could see Sam from the corner of his eye as the demon closed the door and leaned on it to watch the siblings.

"Look." Gabriel said sighing heavily. "I'm sorry. I don't know. I'm…whatever I need to be. But I was…I was wrong."

"What made you change your mind?" Castiel asked softly as if he couldn't believe what his brother was saying.

"Long story." Gabriel said curtly. He shared a look with Sam who smiled and nodded. "The point is…maybe we are each other's weakness. Maybe the angels and demons will find a way to use us against each other. I don't know." He crossed over to his brother and embraced him tightly. "I just know we're all we've got. More than that. We keep each other human."

"Thank you." Castiel whispered as he clung to his brother. "I won't let you down. Thank you."

"Oh I know it." Gabriel said stepping back and ruffling Castiels hair with a grin. "I mean, you are the second best hunter on the planet."

Castiel smiled and didn't say anything. Gabriel pretended to not see when he turned his head to try to discreetly wipe at his eyes.

"This war that the angels have with each other." Castiel said. "We'll find a way to stop it, there's no other choice."

Sam snorted. "Good bloody luck."

"And what does that mean?"

Sam's grin widened. "It impossible to stop this oncoming end of humanity."

"Yes there is." Castiel said. "This is a war and we will find a way."

Sam sighed and glanced at Dean.

"That's exactly why there's no stopping this, because this isn't about a war." Dean said, almost ashamed.

"Then what is it about?" Gabriel demanded.

"It's about two brothers that loved each other and betrayed each other." Sam injected watching Dean intently. When the angel refused to look at him he placed his arms behind his head and turned to stare at the brothers. "You'd think you'd be able to relate."

"What are you talking about?"

"You clueless bastards. Why do you think you two are the vessels?" Sam asked, a smirk beginning on his face. "Think about it. Adam, the big brother, loyal to an absent father" he nodded towards Gabriel before he looked at Castiel and continued. "And Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy's plan." He grinned suddenly. "You were born to this, boys. It's your destiny! It was always you!"

His smirk turned mocking. "As it is in heaven, so it must be on earth." he said sardonically "One brother has to kill the other."

"And how the hell do you know so much?" Gabriel snapped.

Sam held one hand towards Dean. "Ask the angel if you don't believe me."

Castiel glanced at Dean who wasn't meeting his eyes. "Dean?"

Dean shifted in his seat but didn't glance up. "Yeah?"

"Is he telling the truth?" Castiel asked.

Dean was silent for a moment before he quietly said "Yes."

He finally looked up and he looked, to the brother's surprise, angry. "According to heaven since time began and the first soul came to earth this was meant to happen. Adam and Lucifer must fight in their vessels and destroy the planet in the process."

Sam was shifting his weight from foot to foot as he watched Dean.

"And that's why I'm here." Dean said. He threw a glance at Sam who lifted his eyebrows at him. "That's why I asked Sam here. We're going to stop this before it happens." He looked up at the brothers. "This I swear."

"But don't worry, you still have time to find a way out of this oncoming apocalypse." Sam said his eyes meeting Castiels. "Lucifer is still in his cage after all."

Castiel met Sam's eyes and was taken aback at the intensity of his gaze.

Sam was almost looking at Castiel hungrily and with a smile that could almost be called a smirk.

Castiel broke their gaze and tried to pay attention to what his brother was saying. He flinched slightly when Sam came to stand beside him and placed his hand on the small of Castiels back.

Neither Dean nor Gabriel noticed anything, they were too into their conversation. Occasionally Gabriel would glance at Castiel but he would quickly look away. As if he was just reassuring himself that his brother was there.

The hunger that Castiel had been trying to push down. The emptiness that was eating away at his stomach and crawling up into his throat. It was roaring to attention now that Sam was standing beside him.

He could dimly, and it was getting louder with each minute, hear the sound of blood rushing through veins. Coursing through the body, filled with life and fire.

Sulfur and power.

Castiel licked his lips as he chanced a glance at his side. Sam met his eyes with a smile immediately. His hand rubbed lightly into Castiels back.

Castiel breathed in and out through his mouth. His heartbeat was clear in his ears and his hands were shaking.

He could remember the taste and the power coursing through each swallow he took. He remembered the feeling of not being afraid, of looking and seeing how demons were afraid of him for a change.

Sam started to hum lightly so that only Castiel would hear it. His hand was warm and slowly became almost burning on his back.

Castiel swallowed heavily as desire and want surged through him. The demon standing next to him smelled strongly of sulfur and power.

Archdemon. More powerful than demons, then the blood he had been drinking. Would there be a difference?

He started to breathe deeply using only his mouth. Deep breaths, he thought to himself. Deep breaths.

He could have sworn he felt Sam laughing next to him as the smell penetrated his nose deeper.

His hunger grew.

**I do not own Supernatural.**


End file.
